


between you & i

by strangetowns



Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Swearing, missing moment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 10:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8664280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangetowns/pseuds/strangetowns
Summary: "Fine. Mylene." Shao breathed out, whispering smoke unfurling around his head. “She’s lucky.”“You’ve got it wrong, man,” Zeke said. “That’s not – she’s not.”Shao shook his head.“Nah, man, I mean – she’s got you.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> alternatively: the words Zeke and Shao say to each other, and the words they don't.
> 
> I'm sure I've made a mess of details and timelines and such, so if there are any such mistakes that contradict canon don't hesitate to let me know.
> 
> Thank you, as always, to [lydia](http://boxesfullofthoughts.tumblr.com/) for the beta. Title of the fic is pulled from "[Fog](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbz00duyLcw)" by Mason Proper.

The summer was so hot those days, almost felt like the sidewalks themselves were thirsty for the end of drought.

Zeke, though, he didn’t wish for rain. Zeke wished for the brightest, most cloudless of days – the kind of day you could just drink in the sunshine through your pores. So those were the good days; they really were.

He spent a lot of them over at Shao’s place, or as much as he could between the internship and Mylene and everything else going on. He needed the time over there, though, because with the battle against the Notorious Three coming up there was no room for resting or relaxing or any other such silliness, but there were plenty of words to write down. And he worked better with Shao’s spinning in the background, the beats he drew skillfully out of his records settling in Zeke’s gut and making the words inside him make sense.

Shao put a lot of time into practicing, his fingertips dancing over the vinyl like spiders. Zeke liked watching him, brow furrowed and sweat collecting on his cheekbones like dew drops glistening in the dull, musty light. Shao was the kind of guy who was just so tight, muscles permanently locked and fists curled at his sides ready to fight or flee or both, it was kind of refreshing to see him like this, all loose and untangled and free, like untied shoelaces. Sometimes, music pounding in the floorboards and Shao moving so seamlessly it seemed like he was less man and more machine, Zeke almost swore he could see him smile.

“You sound good,” Zeke told him after a long session, small scratched up notepad resting nonchalantly on his knee. He’d given up on the rhymes a while ago, satisfied enough with the day’s work he could let himself sit back and just watch Shao fly to the music. It was one of his favorite things to do.

In one fluid motion, Shao held a cigarette between his teeth and lit it. He walked over to where Zeke was on the floor and sat down next to him heavily. “Not good enough. Not yet.”

“It’s good,” Zeke insisted. “Real good.”

“Yeah, well. We’ll see what happens when we get the boys together.”

“Are you scared?” Zeke said.

Shao snorted. “Hell nah. Scared y’all can’t pull your weight, maybe.”

Zeke shook his head, fighting back a smile. “Bullshit.”

“I can’t be expected to do all the work around here, can I?” A careless shrug, here.

“You’re not, man. Look, I got out some good stuff today.”

“Yeah? I’ll believe it when I hear it.”

He could hear the teasing in Shao’s voice, like Shao didn’t actually mean the words he said. Like Shao didn’t need to hear to believe. His faith was rather touching, and it bolstered Zeke’s confidence. He read out a couple of the verses he’d spun with little hesitation.

After he’d finished going through them, he sat back, looking at Shao while trying to look like he wasn’t looking for a reaction. For a moment, there was nothing, just a kind of stillness across his face, and a blankness in his eyes Zeke couldn’t begin to get a handle on. They looked far away, those eyes. Zeke wondered, briefly, where they might be.

Then Shao huffed out a small laugh at some private thought, and took a long drag of his cigarette.

“It’s good,” Shao said, lowering his voice into a raspy, shoddily executed imitation of Zeke’s own voice. “Real good.”

Zeke shoved at Shao’s shoulder. “Like hell I sound like that.”

“Like hell you don’t. I got you spot on.”

“Rude motherfucker.”

“Damn right.” Shao grinned, brief. Didn’t take long for it to fade away, though. That bothered Zeke more than it should.

“What’s wrong?” Zeke said. Not that he thought there was any point to the question. With Shao, there never was. But still, there was something in Zeke that knew he’d regret not trying anyway.

Shao shook his head. “Nothing.” A predictable response. “Just thinking.” Less so.

“About what?” That was always the problem with Zeke, he never knew when to stop pushing. He didn’t know if now was that time. But so what? Why should that be a problem? Why should it be wrong to not want to give something up if you thought it was important? And this was important, wasn’t it?

Wasn’t he?

“That girl of yours,” Shao said.

Zeke blinked. It was a sudden turn in the conversation he hadn’t been prepared for. Then the words sank in.

“She’s not ‘that girl’,” Zeke said, affronted. “She’s got a name.”

“Fine. Mylene.” Shao breathed out, whispering smoke unfurling around his head. “She’s lucky.”

Zeke thought, not exactly voluntarily, the memories pulled out of him by Shao’s words like an instinct, about all the times Mylene had pulled down her sleeves over wrists she wouldn’t show him, all the times her father had spoken to her with thunder in his voice and lightning in his eyes, all the times when they were kids she said she wouldn’t sing ever again, tears in her eyes and clutching at her elbows, before she stood up and raised her chin and proved herself wrong. He thought about what it was like to hold another person in your arms when their body and heart and everything else was trembling, to hold them and do everything in your power not to shake apart with them.

Luck? That wasn’t a thing Mylene was born with. That was a thing she’d had to carve out of her life with her own bare hands.

“You’ve got it wrong, man,” Zeke said. “That’s not – she’s not.”

Shao shook his head.

“Nah, man, I mean – she’s got you.”

He was excruciatingly casual about it, as he always was, that charming devil-may-care curl of his lips that could almost be a smile but wasn’t quite. But Zeke wasn’t stupid, or deaf. He caught the way Shao’s voice skipped over the middle of his sentence like a broken record, and that long and low exhale after the last word. It sounded helpless, almost. Like a concession.

Zeke had never known Shao to concede a goddamn thing in his life. He didn’t want him to start now.

“You’ve got me, too,” Zeke said, defiantly.

Shao looked up, then, and flicked his cigarette from his mouth so that it flew through the air in a graceful arc and landed in the dust between them. He flashed a grin so bright, so stunning, Zeke’s breath caught in his throat, and he almost – just almost – missed the way it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Yeah, man, you’re right,” Shao said. “Yeah, I got you.”

He leaned back on his hands, the way Zeke was, and the side of his palm was close enough to Zeke’s for him to feel its warmth. Almost daringly, Zeke twitched his pinky finger, let their skin brush up against each other for the briefest of moments, and Shao –

Shao didn’t say a thing.

 

The sun had set a long time ago. Zeke didn’t have a watch or anything, he didn’t know what time it was. He just knew it was late.

“Should be getting home,” Zeke said, words seeping slowly out of him like a fog. He was lying on the ground, smoking the last of a joint Shao had offered a while back, he didn’t know how long ago that’d been either. And Shao was close, not so close they touched but close enough.

“Home,” Shao echoed, a bit stupidly.

Zeke snorted out a laugh, he couldn’t help himself. “Yeah, that old thing.”

“You could stay here,” Shao said.

Zeke let his gaze flicker over to Shao. “Yeah?”

“It’s not home, but – “ Shao exhaled, long and slow. “It’s something.”

What was home, anyway? Was it the place he’d grown up in? Didn’t really have that anymore. Was it the place he belonged more than anywhere else? Didn’t really have that, either. Was it the place he felt the most himself? Nor that.

Maybe Shao had a point, there. Maybe a place he spent a lot of time in was as good a place to be as any.

“I guess I could,” Zeke said.

The corner of Shao’s mouth twitched upward. “You can take the couch. I’ll play nice.”

“Where would you sleep, though?” Zeke said with a frown.

“The floor. I’ve done it enough.”

Zeke shook his head. “Nah, man, that’s not fair.”

“Well, that couch isn’t big enough for the two of us, is it?”

“The floor is,” Zeke said.

Shao rolled his eyes. “You’re a straight up fool, you know that?” But he didn’t move, so Zeke didn’t either.

“My folks are gonna be worried,” Zeke said.

“You can explain in the morning.” Shao rolled over so that he faced Zeke, and Zeke saw him smile for the shortest of moments, his teeth flashing in the dim light. They never lasted that long, the real smiles. But Zeke found himself clinging to them anyway.

“Oh man,” Zeke said, offering up a smile of his own. His, though, he couldn’t quite let go that fast. “I’m becoming a rebel. It’s all your fault.”

“You were already a rebel,” Shao said with a snort. “Didn’t do nothing to you.”

“That’s what you say.” Zeke turned his head to the ceiling and closed his eyes. He let the smile on his face turn into a grin. “I guess it’s not so bad.”

Out of the darkness came Shao’s voice, all soft like Zeke had never heard him. That was Shao for you, always full of surprises. “What?”

Zeke tried to imagine the face that went with that voice. He couldn’t.

He opened his eyes, just so he wouldn’t have to. “This,” he said, just as softly.

It was still hard to see what Shao looked like, the room was so dark. But Zeke could hear the intake of breath Shao took, small and quiet but not too quiet to hide from Zeke. And he could feel the warmth of fingertips brushing over the back of his hand, so faint he almost thought he imagined it were it not for the tingling that lingered behind from the touch.

“What you said earlier,” Shao said.

He didn’t go on, but Zeke didn’t need him to.

“You’re right,” Zeke said. “Mylene and I… We’ve got each other.”

Shao didn’t answer.

“But you’ve got me, too,” Zeke said. He was careful not to inflect his words with anything that could be misconstrued, careful to tell the truth as plain as he felt it. “You’ve got me, and I’ve got you. Right?”

More silence. That was to be expected, though. Shao wasn’t the kind of person to answer to a thing like that.

But then Zeke felt fingers nudge against his hand, and this time they didn’t leave. This time, they stayed, and slowly, painstakingly, he felt Shao’s hand cover his own, sweaty skin of his palm digging gently into the bones of his knuckles. He couldn’t help it; he smiled, smiled with the kind of giddiness that swelled up in his lungs and threatened to flood his throat. And he didn’t think that smile was going to go away any time soon, but that was fine. It wasn’t bad, this thing between them; it really wasn’t.

And the silence was fine, too. It often spoke louder than words.


End file.
